Fucking With My Heart

13th March 2001

Dear Diary,

I told CW already. I told him two weeks ago. He said, "Friends don't break each other's hearts...let's not break ours...can we just be friends forever?"

The week before I kinda told EVERYBODY that I had a thing for him. I guess it's my way of hoping that the news would reach him without me having to do much else.

SO he heard. So he knows.

So, he doesn't like me. But should I still go after him?

Wait till you hear what happened on Saturday.....


I was online, wait, I think it was Friday. So, okay, I was online. And so was JT.

I told him about CW(half trying out his reaction and half trying out his ability to dispense advice). I told him that CW doesn't like me.

"I'm gonna slap his face," he said.

"Don't need lar... He was nice about it." I told him.

He said, "I was terrible....".

Then I said, "Noler, at least you kept my hopes high for awhile, allowing me to be happy for awhile."


The first one(JT) allowed me to have a taste of things and I suppose the second one(CW) was going to be the same and didn't waste anymore of my time.

So he was telling me that KS's(his ex gf..the gf that I was crying over about...the gf that lasted only two weeks. lol) a manipulative bitch and that she got together with him only to get back at someone else.

And then all of a sudden, he said, "I miss you!"

I was like, "Really? Right now?"

He said that he missed my niceness.

It has been so long since I've waited to hear those words. He said that KS was actually jealous of me.

She hated it whenever I talked to him. Then he said, "Darn....!! I miss you!"

Oh god, I'm melting.

You know, I hate to admit it. I've totally gone off him because I thought he was a jerk and a hell of a lamer. I'd definitely go with him if he wasn't.

You know, I wouldn't mind being used by him. :\ BUT I DON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE. Not at the moment, no.


Melinda told me that Victor still likes me. Victor's best friend told her. I wonder how would it be if he would try. Joel told SC that he likes her alot. WOW. Why can't anybody do that to me???

***

SEE HOW THAT JT FUCKS WITH MY HEART... *wants to smash JT's balls*