Not Snapping Out Of It

8th June 2000

Dear Diary,

Sorry for not writing for so long already. Anyway, let me update you a little...

On teacher's day.. that's the Friday before the holidays, Victor came and hung out with me, Melanie and the rest. He didn't seem very obvious about his intentions.

Anyway, of course, JT "didn't see" me again. Observing this, a friend of mine who is from JT's year, Aaron, told me: "Being a guy who is the same age as JT, you shouldn't be wasting your time like that. There are other guys like....Victor Chuan."

I was like, "How'd you know??"

And he replied, "Well, JW is friends with Victor, I'm friends with JW.."

So, my conclusion? I'm getting a deja vu. Call me for perasan for all I care.

Then JT came to talk to me. I was somewhere outside the canteen at that time. Oh wait, before that, a Malay girl(prefect) came up to me and said, "You look SO cute today, thatdiarygirl."(as I had my hair in pigtails).

Her facial expression was not clear. She wasn't really smiling, more like a 'put on smile' and her eyes were somewhere else. Not quite looking into mine.

I was like, "Uhh..thanks?"
Then I saw her name tag and gasped. It was NH! The form4 prefect who is in love with JT. Oooo...scary.

So, as I was saying, Jt came to chat. He seemed really friendly and smiled more than he usually did!

So then there was the holidays which were like really boring.

Back at school, I had Jia Ling to deal with. She's my assistant class monitor. She's holding my hands...being so nice to me....driving me confused, suspicious, crazy and annoyed!! By the way, she changed her geography marks from 63% to 75%.

Damn fair right?

Actually, this is how I find out:

I was kinda curious how come Jia Ling can get sooooo many A's. So I asked Pn. Tang for her record book and just as I thought. She changed her marks. I saw that she also got an "A" for history. So I went to Pn. Suseela and asked for her record book....but ended up telling her about Jia Ling. Turns out that her histroy marks were correct after all. Pn. Suseela promised me that she won't tell anybody. Now I'm thinking, should I pakat with my class teacher?

I could probably her to trackdown all the marks.....or something like that.

Anyway, why are we talking about Jia Ling when this book focuses mainly on my love life and friendship problems?:D

Well, I receved these candies from Victor with the message "I'm coming after you!!!!" ...Deja Vu, anyone?

Sweet? Yes. Flattering? Yes. Feelings convinced? *sigh* no.

Hmm.. I caught myself staring at Jt again today. I mean..wow...he's always the way he is. I think he saw me looking at him. I think Daniel, who was standing next to JT, noticed too and pointed up at me. Damn you, Daniel! I hid behind the balcony ledge when he looked up.

Why do I still want him after so long? Why? Why does he and what does he have that makes me want him so bad??

*sigh*

****

It's always the case you see. Cheng Xiang came to disturb my JT pursuit. And now Victor comes along. Actually, now that I'm much more matured and so much more clear headed about the entire episode, I could have ended up with this JT guy if only I was able to read into all the signs. I think he DID like me at one point. And I enjoyed playing games. Who's the fool eh? Me lor.